Wabi Sabi Read online

  Also by Beth Kempton

  FREEDOM SEEKER:

  Live more. Worry less. Do what you love.

  Copyright

  Published by Piatkus

  ISBN: 978-0-349-42099-8

  Copyright © 2018 Beth Kempton

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher.

  The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

  Piatkus

  Little, Brown Book Group

  Carmelite House

  50 Victoria Embankment

  London EC4Y 0DZ

  www.littlebrown.co.uk

  www.hachette.co.uk

  To my family.

  I love you just the way you are.

  A note on the use of Japanese in this book

  Japanese personal names have been written in standard English name order for ease of reference (first name followed by surname), except for historical figures most commonly known by the traditional Japanese name order (family name first), such as Matsuo Bashō (family name of Matsuo).

  The modified Hepburn system has been used to romanise the Japanese language. Macrons have been used to indicate long vowels; for example, ū for an extended ‘uu’. This includes place names, even if they are familiarly known without the macrons, such as Tōkyō and Kyōtō.

  When referencing people, the suffix -san is sometimes used. This is a polite way to say ‘Mr’, ‘Mrs’ or ‘Ms’. When the suffix -sensei is used, this refers to a teacher or professor.

  CONTENTS

  Also by Beth Kempton

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  A note on the use of Japanese in this book

  About the author

  Foreword by Hidetoshi Nakata

  Introduction

  Chapter 1: Origins, characteristics and relevance of wabi sabi today

  Chapter 2: Simplifying and beautifying

  Chapter 3: Living with nature

  Chapter 4: Acceptance and letting go

  Chapter 5: Reframing failure

  Chapter 6: Nurturing relationships

  Chapter 7: Enjoying the career journey

  Chapter 8: Cherishing the moments

  Afterword: Tying it all together

  Acknowledgements

  Endnotes

  Notes on visiting Japan

  Bibliography

  Index

  B eth Kempton has been inhaling the magic and mystery of Japan and has been influenced by its philosophy and aesthetics for over two decades. With a master’s degree in Japanese, Beth has spent many years living and working in Japan, which she considers her second home. Over the years, she has taken lessons in Japanese papermaking, flower arranging, pottery, noren making, calligraphy, the tea ceremony and weaving. Collectively, these experiences have led to a deep love of the country and a rare understanding of cultural and linguistic nuances.

  Beth previously trained in TV presenter skills at NTV in Tōkyō and, many moons ago, hosted her own TV show on Yamagata Cable Television in the north of the country. She has written about Japan and Oriental philosophy in various publications including Wanderlust, Yoga Magazine and Where Women Create.

  Beth is also an award-winning entrepreneur and self-help author, and co-founder of the online design magazine MOYŌ (which is Japanese for ‘pattern’). Together with her husband, Mr K, she runs dowhatyouloveforlife.com , makeartthatsells.com and makeitindesign.com – all of which offer tools, resources and online courses for living an inspired life. Beth also co-leads an online members’ club for soulful women entrepreneurs at hellosoulhellobusiness.com , and mentors individuals through times of major life and career change (see bethkempton.com for details).

  Named a ‘Rising Star’ by Spirit & Destiny magazine, Beth was also nominated Kindred Spirit Magazine Mind Body Spirit Blogger of the Year 2017 and her blog was recently named one of the best happiness blogs on the planet. Her first book, Freedom Seeker: Live More. Worry Less. Do What You Love ., was published by Hay House in 2017. She loves leading workshops and speaking live, and is on the faculty of 1440 Multiversity in California.

  Beth describes herself as a wanderer, an adventurer and a seeker of beauty, with a slight obsession with chocolate and Japanese stationery. Mother of two adorable girls, she lives a slow-ish life on the south coast of England, and loves nothing more than a dose of shinrin-yoku (forest bathing) and a picnic with her young family. You can take a peek at her perfectly imperfect life on Instagram @bethkempton .

  Find Beth here:

  www.bethkempton.com / www.dowhatyouloveforlife.com

  www.facebook.com/dowhatyoulovexx

  Instagram @bethkempton

  Twitter @dowhatyoulovexx

  Podcast: www.bethkempton.com/podcast

  A t the age of twenty-one, I left Japan to make my way in the big, wide world. The eight years I spent playing in the Italian League Serie A and the English Premier League were, as a professional footballer, the most important in my sporting career. As a person, the experience of living abroad showed me how stepping outside the familiar can really open our eyes and minds.

  During those years, I worked hard to learn first Italian and then English. The more I learned, the more I discovered how language offers a window into other cultures, and can be a doorway to lifelong friendships.

  After retiring from football following the 2006 FIFA World Cup, I spent the next few years travelling all over the world, meeting people from all walks of life. Everywhere I went, people would tell me that they were interested in Japan. They asked me all sorts of questions, many of which I could not answer. And I realised then, that even though I was Japanese, there was a depth and richness to my own culture that I had not yet truly appreciated. I wanted to understand what it was that was so appealing to people worldwide, so I made the decision to go back to Japan and find out for myself.

  I carried with me the question, ‘What is culture?’ Food culture, fashion culture, Japanese culture … I wanted to understand this idea more. When people use the term ‘culture’ they refer to a certain lifestyle followed by a number of people over a period of time – something we create by the way we live. So I decided to visit people instead of places.

  I spent the next seven years exploring every corner of Japan, visiting all of the forty-seven prefectures to spend time with artisans, farmers, sake brewers, Zen monks, Shintō priests and local people. And while I set out to learn about Japanese culture, I ended up learning about life.

  Every time I woke before the sun to spend time with farmers harvesting their rice, smelled the air before the rains came or watched craftsmen coax beauty from materials that grew in their shadow, I learned what it means to live in harmony with the Earth. The juicy fruit, just picked from the vine, the freshly caught fish, the carefully brewed sake – with each bite and sip I learned more about how to really taste.

  As time went on, I noticed I was falling into the rhythm of country life, which is the rhythm of the seasons and of nature in Japan. Living in cities, we have access to so many good things, but, at the same time, we are separated from nature and the artificial environment can sap our energy. It was only when I spent month after month in the countryside that I realised how much better I felt. More energised, alert and happy.

  When we separate ourselves from nature it becomes something we attempt to manage and control. But it can release its awesome power at any moment. I believe it’s when we live in relationship with nature, respecting it and flowing in rhythm with it, that we feel at our best and appreciate each day, moment by mo
ment.

  Wabi sabi is intimately intertwined with this fundamental relationship with nature. It relates to the acceptance of the transience of all things, and the experiencing of life with all the senses. I hope this book inspires you to find your own gentle rhythm and discover happiness right where you are.

  Having known Beth for more than twelve years, and knowing her commitment as a student of Japanese life, I know she is the one to take you on this journey.

  Hidetoshi Nakata

  Tōkyō, 2018

  I t is a cold December night in Kyōtō, the ancient capital of Japan. I have cycled through the darkness to Shōren-in, a small temple off the tourist trail, nestled at the foot of the Higashiyama mountains. Tonight, the temple gardens are gently illuminated, the low light spinning a mysterious yarn across the silhouetted pines and chimerical bamboo groves.

  I remove my shoes and step inside, onto a floor polished to a high shine by eight hundred years of shuffling footsteps and swishing robes. The wide floorboards, mottled and darkened with age, hail from the Imperial Palace. I take a seat on the wrap-around veranda at the back, toes numb from the cold and breath visible in front of my face.

  Incense fills the air. It smells like the colour purple, in a way I cannot explain. Tiny lights scattered across the garden fade in and out, a thousand stars breathing in unison. Just ten minutes away, the entertainment district of Gion is bustling with the energy of excitable tourists, drunken businessmen and attentive geisha. But here, up a narrow, sloping road on the eastern edge of the city, I have found stillness.

  Overhead a chenille moon is peeping through the trees, casting its silvery spell across the pond. Fallen leaves skate over the surface, as koi carp skulk through the milky waters below. A week from now the branches of many of these trees will be bare. A month later, perhaps cloaked in snow.

  I pick up a fallen momiji leaf, blushing burgundy and curling at the edges. It’s a treasure, crinkled and papery, like the back of my grandmother’s hand. A space in my heart opens up. Right now, I have everything I need. I feel quiet contentment, tinged with melancholy in the knowledge that this fleeting moment will never return.

  This is the world of wabi sabi.

  Discovering wabi sabi

  Wabi sabi is fundamental to the aesthetic sense and gentle nature of Japanese people. It is a world view that guides the way they experience life, although it is rarely discussed. Its influence is everywhere, and yet it is nowhere to be seen. People instinctively know what the concept of wabi sabi represents, but few can articulate that. Wabi sabi is a fascinating enigma, which promises to whisper potent wisdom to those who slow down enough to investigate, and approach with an open heart.

  I have been visiting Japan for over two decades and lived here for almost a third of that time. The affinity I have always felt with Japanese people belies my upbringing on the other side of the world. I have immersed myself in the culture, lived with Japanese families who speak no English, worked in the complex worlds of Japanese business and local government, spent way more than ten thousand hours studying and travelled widely throughout the land. And yet, despite all this, a true definition of the soulful concept of wabi sabi has remained elusive. I could sense it, but lacked the words to explain it.

  A number of other non-Japanese have delved into the world of wabi sabi before me, and most have focused on the physical characteristics of objects and environments they associate with the idea. However, those explanations have always fallen short for me. I have long had a sense that wabi sabi goes much deeper than we have been led to believe, flowing into many areas of life. It wasn’t until I started to research this book that I realised just how deep that river runs.

  Why wabi sabi ?

  In recent years, society has gathered pace, our stress levels have gone through the roof and we have become increasingly obsessed with money, job titles, appearances and the endless accumulation of stuff. There is a growing sense of discontent as we push ourselves harder and juggle more. We are overworked, overstretched and overwhelmed.

  As someone who has spent the best part of a decade helping people realign their priorities to build a life focused on doing what they love, I have seen how so many of us are making ourselves ill with overcommitment, constant comparison, judgement and negative self-talk. We are sleepwalking through our days, senses dulled, spending much of our time cooped up in boxes, paying more attention to celebrities, advertising and social media than to the exploration of our own lives, in all their rich potential.

  For some time now, I have been hearing the growing rumblings of a slow revolution, a yearning for a simpler, more meaningful life. A life infused with beauty, connected to nature, thrumming with the energy of everyday wellbeing and built around what really matters to us. The more people who came to me exhausted, stuck and unhappy, the more I felt the need for a new way to approach challenges, and for accessible tools to help us live more authentic and inspired lives.

  This brought to mind the underlying grace, calm and sense of appreciation in Japan that I haven’t experienced anywhere else, hinting at life lessons tucked into the sleeves of the cultural kimono . I suspected it may have something to do with the elusive concept of wabi sabi , so I set out to discover the hidden truth.

  Defining the indefinable

  As I’ve said, trying to articulate a definition of wabi sabi is a tricky endeavour. It’s a bit like love – I can tell you what I think it is and how it feels to me, but it’s only when you feel it for yourself that you really know. Almost without exception, conversations I have had with Japanese people on this topic have begun with: ‘Wabi sabi ? Hmmm … It’s very difficult to explain.’ And the truth is, most people have never tried to articulate it and don’t see the need to do so. They have grown up with it. It’s how they navigate the world and appreciate beauty. It is built in to who they are.

  However, never one to shrink from a challenge, I pressed on. Well, actually, I waited, I watched and I listened. The more space I gave people to explore the meaning of this unspoken thing that was so familiar to them, the more interesting it became. There were metaphors and hand gestures and tilting of heads. There were hands on hearts and long pauses and repeated references to tea and Zen and nature. The conversation nearly always ended with: ‘I want to read your book.’

  The fact is, there is no universal definition of wabi sabi in the Japanese language. Any attempt to express it will only ever be from the perspective of the person explaining it.

  My own perspective is that of someone in the unusual position of being both a Japanologist and a life coach. In my attempt to distil the principles of wabi sabi into a series of accessible life lessons, I have talked to people from all walks of life, pored over books in old libraries, visited museums, meditated in shadowy temples, held tea bowls in my hands, spent time in nature and wandered through centuries-old Japanese architecture. After hundreds of conversations and extensive research, I have crafted a set of guiding principles that I hope will be valuable lessons for us all. You can find them all within this book.

  The wabi sabi secret

  In slowly peeling back the layers of mystery, this is what I have come to understand: the true beauty of wabi sabi lies not in things, but in the very nature of life itself.

  Wabi sabi is an intuitive response to beauty that reflects the true nature of life.

  Wabi sabi is an acceptance and appreciation of the impermanent, imperfect and incomplete nature of everything.

  Wabi sabi is a recognition of the gifts of simple, slow and natural living.

  Wabi sabi is a state of the heart. It is a deep in-breath and a slow exhale. It is felt in a moment of real appreciation – a perfect moment in an imperfect world. We can nurture it with our willingness to notice details and cultivate delight. And we experience it when we are living the most authentic, most inspired versions of our lives.

  It’s about experiencing the world by truly being in it, rather than judging it from the sidelines. It’s about allowing strategy t
o give way to sensitivity. It’s about taking the time to pay attention.

  The principles that underlie wabi sabi can teach us life lessons about letting go of perfection and accepting ourselves just as we are. They give us tools for escaping the chaos and material pressures of modern life, so we can be content with less. And they remind us to look for beauty in the everyday, allowing ourselves to be moved by it and, in doing so, feeling gratitude for life itself.

  How to use this book

  In order to understand the depth and richness of wabi sabi , we begin with a short history lesson that sets the scene for all that is to come. While this book is not a detailed discourse on Japanese aesthetics, history, culture, philosophy or religion, these are all touched on to the extent that they are important threads in the fabric of Japanese life. For further reading or inspiration for your own journey of discovery, please see the Bibliography, page 220 , and Notes on visiting Japan, page 214 .

  The secret of wabi sabi lies in seeing the world not with the logical mind but through the feeling heart.

  Once we have a sense of the origins of wabi sabi , we will explore its characteristics, to give us language to think and talk about it. Then we will look at why this ancient wisdom is so very relevant to our lives today. All of this is covered in Chapter 1 , and I encourage you to read it first.

  From Chapter 2 onwards, I share stories, inspiration and advice for applying the concept to every area of your life. You might want to read these in order or dip in and out, depending on what calls to you most right now. There is, of course, no perfect way to read this book. It is for you to take from it what you need.